1,341 - 1,360 of 3,594 Stories

...and you thought The Wizard of Oz couldn't get much better... now with all your favorite Hogwarts kids and a lemony fresh scent!

Fred and George are asked to look after Ron's youngest sons. Can they handle it? Hey, it's Fred and George here, of course they can ...or are they getting slow in their old age? Set at the same time as 'Beach Blast'.

Sirius and James have some fun...at Remus' expense. (Poor Remus.)

Hermione is slowly losing her marbles and develops an unhealthy obsession with Snape ... to his horror. The task of saving what is left of her sanity falls upon him of all people. What is wrong with Hermione and can he help her? Written before HBP, therefore AU.

Harry appears in the desert, naked. I don't need to say anything else about this story.

Oliver Wood: More singers, more failures and more… Gilderoy Lockhart! Weekdays, seven to eight on your Weally Wunderful Wizawds Watcher! And remember... more Gilderoy!

You've read the books. You've seen the movies. So naturally you think you know the Harry Potter Series. Right? Wrong! A tale of hilarity, randomness, sudden Apparation, and instantaneous subject change ensues while you ask yourself, 'What are they smoking?'

Dr. and Dr. Granger have a perfectly ordinary evening, when something very odd occurs. What do they do? "As a family, they made the decision to panic." Includes vampires, uncomfortable chairs, and singing hospital orderlies. The mystery of lost paperwork is solved. First in the 'First Signs of Magic' series.

It’s a parody.. It’s a soap opera, it’s... Till Death Do We Angst. If you enjoy the popular works of Cassie Claire and... Cassie Claire, then join us for a delightful series of Mary Sue mashing, bad plot smashing, song fic bashing installments. With each chapter comes more laughs, love and angst. This is the collaboration of Director’s Cut, Pedestrial Trink and Reluctantly, Mesmer. This is... Till Death Do We Angst.

Albus Dumbledore receives a letter from an old friend. Sort of. What does the letter say that would shock and confound even Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape?

What would happen if three of Hogwarts most respected teachers had to leave and the school was left in the unsafe hands of Harry Potter, Gilderoy Lockhart and Remus Lupin? Well...this is a good place to find out.

Jerry Springer invites some Dark Lords and their mistresses over to drag out the dirty laundry and find out just what makes these women hot for the villain.

The tale of an Unspeakable, and her most recent assigment: Tracking down the most dangerous 'Mary Sue' of their time. Follow Agent Karin Airbourne through a world of the deranged Mary Sues we rarely see and try really hard not to think about, either.

Before you go further, I must request that any search for a moral in this story is discarded. Now, please proceed to read the actions of the Marauders in their fifth year as they attempt to get back at Snape, woo Lily, and generally cause havoc.

A simple story about Harry, Ron and Hermione sneaking into a shop on the more mature end of Diagon Alley

He paused as he heard a hissing sound from behind him. Dreading what he was about to see, Fred turned and realized there were more of those things located on the lawn and all of them were spewing the same substance. Squeaking, Fred turned to run off the lawn, but all the objects were discharging the same material. He was trapped.

Determined to get at least one Weasley, Fudge arrests Ron for killing a Death Eater in battle. During court, when told to give his last words, Ron decides to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Harry has ADHD; Ginny is constantly being ignored; Draco is epitome of his fandom; many girls faint, cry, and scream; and a few ships get poked at.

Draco Malfoy has a secret. It's a fairly innocent secret, really, but he can't risk *anyone* uncovering it. So what happens when Lucius finds out?

Feuding houses have led Dumbledore to mix them up a bit. Features a talent show, mash potato ice cream, Mary Poppins umbrella, S&M Ginny, and more.

1997. London. Six Slytherins share a vision and the common desire to the conquer the world... of haute couture. Warnings: HBP spoilers, naughty language and absurdist comedy!

This is just a quick "what if" list I came up with one very dead day at work. Come on, you know you love "what if" scenarios! Ninja Master Dumbledore makes a rare appearance.

Arithmancy has been cancelled due to Professor Vector's illness, so the class goes to Muggle Studies. They are given a questionnaire to fill out--the modified, adapted, and considerably shortened but still insanely long registration to MONTY PYTHON AND THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!!! Hermione fills it out, with hilarious consequenses.

Here is your chance to watch Mary-Sues get ripped to shreds! Cliches, bad plots, and weird characterisation that only looks normal to the eye of the criminally insane (oh, and the author). ````You can tell it's good because ff.net deleted it!

A very young Sirius finds something interesting and consults James, ``leading into a barrel of trouble.

Isn't the title self explanatory? Harry's secret is out! All of Hogwarts is soon to know that he is gay! With this Hermione becomes Harry's fag hag.

Tonks may be Snape\'s double, Molly is worried, and Remus is, simply, Sweater.

*Ron/Draco* What do you get when two unsuspecting Prefects from different houses end up together in a Jacuzzi with scented bubblebath? Slash, of course!

Fondness for fanfiction strikes Hogwarts as the Internet becomes a subject in Muggle Studies. The New Marauders (second and third generation) are stuck in the middle of it. Snape threatens, July giggles, and very bad mental images are given.

Revenge was never funnier...

After a few hints from Ron, Harry finally realizes his feelings for Hermione. But, it just so happens that she is heading to France to visit some mystery guy that Harry's never seen, just heard about. Can or will he be able to tell her he loves her? Sometimes, it's just timing...

During the war, Dumbledore starts a series of House competitions to lighten everyone's spirits. Food consumption contests, messy eating, and Harry and Draco rivalry abound, with a side of Weasley antics! Cream pies sold separately.

Arthur brings home a pair of Muggle trousers. What will Molly think? What mishaps will occur? Arthur discovers that Muggle clothing can be wonderful -- and dangerous. Featuring: scandalized!Molly, enthusiastic!Arthur, young!Weasley-children, and vicious!trousers.

Hermione's manifesto at long last! Come on, with a title like that, you just know it's gotta be funny...

Our favorite arrogant Slytherin (you know, the one everyone thinks is part-veela) rambles on about Slytherins, Dark Lords, and betrothals.

Snape, pink, Britney Spears, Harry and Ron in the invisibility ``cloak. Need I say more?

A game of strip poker teaches Draco an interesting lesson in observation. What you see is not always what you get---or deserve. First in a series of vignettes about the Woman of Hogwarts.

Ron and Harry find the mirror once again. Harry sees the same thing as last time. But Ron sees something different... a girl....

Ron shows his support for Harry in case Harry ever decides to become gay. But as it turns out, Ron should never put ideas in Harry’s head.

The Malfoys take a visit to PBS. But not all is well in the world of children's television... death, love triangles, unrequited love, and sex lies ahead. WARNING: You may never look at Barney or Ernie's ducky the same way again.

After Fred played a prank on his family, his family have been wishing to get back at him. They just got their wish.

There's a young girl knocking on Severus Snape's door. She's got black hair tied in a tight bun at the nape of her neck, squarish glasses sitting on her nose, and a bit of a problem.

The Men of the Order take a little time to remember the good things in life (and drink themselves silly).

Everyone is sick and tired of American Transfer Student, Mary Sue, especially her Housemates, the Slytherins. It's enough to make Draco lose his composure at dinner. Pudding flies. Snape prays. Warning: Some people think this is screamingly funny. Other people think it's sick and twisted. Rated R for sexual innuendo and violence.

Hermione is wandering through a forest and falls asleep. She wakes up, and finds a vampire. She meets Buffy, and learns some strange things.

When Harry’s victories over Voldemort become more and``more humiliating for the Dark Lord, the annual battle evolves into a festival celebrated by the combined Wizard-Muggle world. Welcome to VoldeFest!

A secret mission for Sirius and Remus leads to more than Remus bargained for.

What happened after Snape's Worst Memory? Well, let's say the Marauders had a little girl talk, in which they discuss James' crush on Lily Evans, or is it more than a crush?

Poor, good, noble, beneficent Harry Potter. All he did was steal some ham and for that he ended up with nineteen hours of detention. It just isn't fair. How is he going to deal with the injustice of the world? By singing, of course! Yes, it's finally happened -- Harry Potter meets Les Miserables! Hold your noses and step inside.

Fred and George have secured a site for their joke shop and the whole of Hogwarts will be there for the Grand Opening.

It was the first magic book Harry wanted, one that Hagrid had to drag him away from. What was so special about it? One-shot.

I think the title is as explanatory as it can possibly be. We find Harry and Hermione in yet another problem. Hermione wakes up with stomach cramps. But we soon find out that she's... leaking, so to speak. Dripping with sick female-related humor. Rated R for excruciating detail, but with some fluff to start off with.

This Story takes place one year after Harry's graduation from Hogwarts. He works for the Ministry, but decides to take a month off and go 'Down Under' to Australia. There he meets Cassie, the quick-talking witch who taught him how to windsurf, landsurf, and everything else that them Aussies like to do!

This is a continuation of Trillian Black's "And Now for Something Completely Different." I hope you enjoy the singing as it's not just Ron this time.

It's Christmas again, and Harry and Tonks are settled down in their new home. But when a debate comes up about a certain Muggle object, Tonks just can't leave well enough alone.

A daring tale of all 'round tomfoolery when Fred and George Weasley become the new generation of Magical Mischief-Makers as keepers of the Marauder's Map.

It's the beginning of the fifth year, but nothing is what ``anyone expects it to be. With the Evil Hand, frogs, rioting chess pieces, ``Jerry Springer, Blast-Ended Skrewts, and a rather odd duck.

Severus Snape is a meany! Point blank. Will things change when he gets a visit from 3 very special ghosts?

An ill-advised prank by Draco Malfoy fills the Potions Classroom with an hallucinogenic smoke. Harry and friends embark on a difficult new quest - making it to their next class.

Harry is dared by Fred, George, and Ron one night to sneak down to the kitchens and steal some food, but what he finds out is something he really didn't want to know. What is it exactly that Snape does after midnight?

A snippet from the Weasley family past; Fred and George play a prank on their younger brother Ron. Backstory to Ron's canon comment that Fred and George once tricked him into making an 'Unbreakable Vow'.

Draco and Hermione are at each others' throats regarding a Potions essay.

It is December 25th, 1980. Harry Potter is celebrating his first and only Christmas with his parents. And what's a Christmas without Sirius and Remus? This Christmas at Godric's Hollow is one to remember!

Hogwarts is in for a democratic change as a new position for student body president gears the school up for an election. With Harry the obvious favorite, Draco enters the race himself to try and sabotage Harry's campaign. From disco dancing to nude statues, election-chaos ensues!

Harry, Ron and Hermione are back at Hogwarts for their fifth year, but this time Draco Malfoy's a little harder to ignore. Starring an unhinged Malfoy, an oblivious Ron, and perplexed Harry, and Hermione, as herself. Also featuring the annoying narrator, a little thing called a war, and....

Harry and the gang go on Jenny Jones. Why are they there? Who brought them? Can they hide the fact that they're wizards from America?

It's time for the Hogwarts musical! The school is putting on 'My Fair Lady' and Hermione makes some discoveries in the process. Very fluffy stuff! : )

This is from the flying car's point of view... he's one sick automotive!

Behold... The world of Hogwarts through the yellow eyes of a Cornish pixie, who takes up the onerous task of matchmaking... Matchmaking for his beloved mistress, Lily Evans. Much madness ensues [and James Potter may die a thousand painful deaths in the process].

Severus takes a trip to the Department of Mysteries that he lives to regret. The story of how Severus meets Nadia; part of the SSS universe.

Draco's strange yet logical way of thinking gets him and Harry into a very experimental mood. That's "Experimental," with a capital "E," by the way. Mostly dialogue.

Draco turns Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Pansy into toddlers because of his greed. What happens when Dumbledore tells him he must raise them? Features Fatherly!Draco and Maniacal!Dumbledore.

Ever wonder if JKR was telling the truth about the way Harry and Draco met? Well, sources tell that she was lying! She just knew that some little peepers were going to read it and changed it because parents don't know how to tell their children the facts of life. Rather sad really. Anyways, this is really how they met... and ended up hating each other. BIG-TIME SLASH!!

Hello, it's me, Lily Winterwood. I'm an unwilling Mary Sue at Hogwarts in a story that already has a Sue in it...if the summary is confusing, then the story might make it clearer...

Draco decides to stay in his room, one day, instead of going out with his friends. He composes a poem describing his one true love (other than himself), but who is the mystery Lady? Man? Object? of his affections?

Harry is tired of his identity. Draco is bored and jealous of a Ravenclaw prefect. How will they solve their problems? Why, by being girls, of course!

A certain little greasy haired first year helps Filch get revenge against the Marauders for dying his cat green.

Lily is certain that the Marauders are planning something, though when she attempts to find out what it is, the only thing they tell her is "Classified Marauders' Information."

Hermione went to America with her parents for the summer, and came back a bit different than expected - but still herself. Just a speculation on how a girl like Miss Granger might actually change over a few months' time.

Snape changes his tack for Harry's Occlumency lessons, hoping to incite a stronger reaction.

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are lost together in the Forbidden Forest. They can't seem to stop fighting. First they are fighting over who got them lost. Then they begin to fight over who hit on who.

The diary of Draco Malfoy. Includes the red one (Ginny), misplaced kisses, fashion know all and Armani…lots of Armani. Enjoy!

Snape finds a mirror that contains a genie, but there's a catch...

Some people are just too cheap to shell out a few galleons for a wizard radio so I made a transcript of a recent broadcast, it concerns Harry’s old babysitter Mrs. Figg, the Weasley brothers, Draco’s new career, and the latest gadgets from the world of magic.

During the summer after his sixth year, Harry is forced to endure the wedding of the infamous Aunt Marge.

Summary: The Order meeting is rife with speculation about the identity of the "one-buttock" wonder, leading to some surprising disclosures. Starring Remus, Tonks and Sirius, supported ably by other Order members, risque dialogues and bad-arse jokes.

Lily Evans and Remus Lupin meet in the prefects' bathroom and get into a discussion about various forms of monthly ailments.

One Ravenclaw unburdens her heart to a piece of parchment, revealing fears, crushes, and her dislike of a certain bushy-haired genius.

[Originally written for the SevenOfQuills Christmas Challenge] How Sirius Met Caro.

When the Marauders find a spell that allows them to spy on whomever they want, how can they resist? But how will they find time for it, what with moonlight romances, Lucius Malfoy, and someone's undergarments?

What happens when Harry pulls a prank on Draco involving Draco's father? Well, Harry ends up getting more than he bargained for! Look for Snape's gay porno collection, Hermione as you've probably seen her in other fics and some snogging from Ron.

After Crouch's death, Percy accepts an offer for a teaching position and gets roped into a backwards production of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" that might just destroy the small bit of sanity he still bears.

Oh my! Lord Voldemort has just been defeated by Harry Potter again! As Voldemort begins plotting, Lucius and Wormtail become worried about their Dark Lord, who isn't acting like himself. All goes better when they begin to plan to cheer Voldemort up over his latest defeat over a bowl of Mai Tais - and what else?

Dumbledore--much to the dismay of several students--has decided to throw a Hallowe'en Masquerade Ball. The Trio, along with a few friends, are horrified at the prospect, and immediately resolve to do everything in their power to get out of going. Along the way, they make new friends, form strange alliances, and even find love. A tongue-in-cheek look at various fallacies within the fandom.

Harry's waffle starts talking to him. The waffle does have an accent. Sorta crazy but cute.

Harry has a short conversation with Hermione. Ron is missing so Hermione can say what she thinks, and knows. Written by somebody who hates Ron. Intensely.

Revelations, reunions and a very annoying host. This is your Life, Harry Potter!!!

Teens will be teens. Teens have some interesting ideas of what makes a guy desirable. And how does Hermione know what that implies? Ron being stupid, Hermione knowing too much and Harry just… there. Just so typical.

Ever wondered what it'd be like if Harry Potter was a secret agent? Or if James Bond was a wizard? No? Good, then I'm the only one deranged enough to think of it! This book shall chronicle the adventures of Jarry Ponder in his first year at Pigpimples School of Witchcraft and Gadgetry. What more do I need to say? It's got all your favorite characters- Mumblemore, \/01~~)3/\/®7, and of course Jarry himself.

"I'll go and talk to her, Harry," he promised. "I'll make her see reason... a Firebolt... a real Firebolt on our team... She wants Gryffindor to win as much as we do... I'll make her see sense. A Firebolt..." ``Oliver tries to convince McGonagall to give Harry his broom back.

George isn't speaking to Fred. How will he fix it?