3,581 - 3,600 of 5,429 Stories

Remember Mrs. Weasley's clock? Where do wizards get their fancy magical timepieces? A wizarding watchmaker becomes friends with our favorite red-haired twins in this answer to the Anti-Mary-Sue Challenge.

Harry is sick of Umbridge and everyone pushing him around. Halfway through fifth year, he decides to Do Something about it. Warning: Contains nuts. And cults, falling sugar bowls, terrible handwriting, and beleaguered caretakers. So AU it isn't even funny.

Today is Hogwarts' Inspection Day! A humorous one-shot fic, it includes dirty socks under Harry's bed, something... totally nasty under Ron's bed, and a whole lot of humor.

When Muggle Studies is made compulsory for all students at Hogwarts, how will the 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins react at having to work together? This fanfic contains a hyped-up Arthur Weasley, a group of small children and Severus Snape, Babysitter Extraordinaire!

Both Ron and Ginny try to hide something from each other.

Ron wants to throw Hermione a birthday party. Harry is scared. Please laugh, they tried.

Harry tries to surprise Ginny on their first anniversary, with varying degrees of success...

Hogwarts' resident Muggle Studies teacher decides to have her sixth and seventh year students produce one of Shakespeare's greatest plays, Romeo and Juliet. Oh, the events that ensue when Draco becomes jealous. D/G Meant to be a bit of a parody.

What does Voldemort do in his spare time? And what's wrong with Pink stuffed bunnies? A zany ficlet which tells, in the weirdest way possible, our favorite Dark Lord's most interesting hobby: Tea Parties!!!

Is there a main apparition point for Diagon Alley? If not, disasters may abound!

Lucius Malfoy is the evil new Minister of Magic, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are two angels fighting to get back to earth and Ron Weasley has ‘kidnapped’ Draco Malfoy in a fit of insanity… Based loosely on 'A Life Less Ordinary'.

What happens when Harry and the gang find out about 'Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone'?

The Marauders go camping! But what happens when they begin giving eachother "manly tattoos"?

What happens when two pairs of lovers, a group of crazed and unseasoned actors, and a magical night in the forest with the "fairies" are combined? Why, Shakespeare's

It's Gift-Giving Season, and Draco has something special planned for Hermione. [DHr] Rated PG-13 for language and a small sexual reference/joke.

Dracos parents die in the grocery store when canned peaches massively attack them, so where does Draco go? None other than the Weasley home. PG-13 for violent stupidness.

One day while poor Harry was bored, Ron farted and Adam Sandler came out of the fireplace with a MAD magazine. Join Harry while he reads this mag with much difficulty.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione can not wait to get back to Hogwarts for their fifth year. But there is something different about this year that they can not put their finger on... what is it? Well, let us just say it is a bit of behind-the-scenes-backstabbing, romance, and some surprising turns...

Sarah has written a fanfiction. It has ``everything: the ever-popular Mary Sue (aka Bethany Parker) and Sarah’s two best friends instead as Bethany’s sworn enemies. Unfortunately for Sarah, though, Bethany doesn't like the life she's created. Bethany wants out, ``and the three friends aren't going to like how she gets it!

Neville Longbottom's taught Defence Against the Dark Arts for seventeen years now. Yet, his greatest challenge is only now presenting itself. ``There's nothing worse than having one's own child as a student.

"NOBODY expects the Hogwarts Inquisition!"

Three small children are the only survivors of a horrible attack on a school. Ron Weasley decides that someone needs to look after them. He also decides that that someone needs the sort of help that only Remus Lupin can provide.

Harry gets a skating lesson and falls - in more ways than one. Sequel to Sick.

Ron visits Bill in the hospital wing, where they have a conversation about women, namely Hermione and Fleur, and Bill offers Ron some very sage advice. R/Hr with B/F.

You thought you knew what the prophesy was? Well... you were right. But what if it wasn't that? What if it had a lot more to do with Harry's... hair?

Ever the playboy, dashing Blaise Zabini plunged into an intense relationship with Susan Bones. After she grew to love and trust him, he cruelly broke her heart. The events following went down in wizarding history...

Salinas Dumbledore has graduated from school and has returned to her native Newfoundland for a solitary night on the town at the infamous George St. in St. John's. She doesn't expect to find a certain someone in there... but when she does, a karaoke-riddled drink-off ensues! Newfie Music! Drunken Raves! Cursing! Swearing! Screech! Things Newfies Only Do On TV! And best of all, GREAT BIG SEA!

In the summer of 1996, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Amber go to Portugal, to watch European Quidditch Championship (hint, hint). But a Quidditch Championship is never just a Quidditch Championship... A fic with lots of supporting, lots of Quidditch and lots of football references. Oh and I almost forgot - with some mean Malfoys. ~For the good of the Game(s)~

Written for a veela inc fic challenge, this story recounts the antics of a naughty Neville and the hilarity that ensues. Watch for fuzzybunny!Draco and irresistable!Ron. Lily Potter also makes a cameo appearance. And the #1 question: "Is Draco gay?" is pondered, but is it answered? Read and enjoy! And if you like, review!

It's three days until graduation, and the seventh-year students are spending a free day by the lake. Harry gets into an accident with the Giant Squid, and curiously it is Draco who saves his life. Harry has his own weird way of showing gratitude.

Ron, Hermione and Harry with two fellow Gryffindors decide to sneak out one night ... only to return ... drunk!

Harry's announcement has an electrifying effect, causing Hermione and Ron to panic, and Dumbledore to send memos to Minister Fudge and Voldemort. Mentions of H/D.

Draco Malfoy has always been great on a broomstick, and he really can fly better than anyone. So why is it that he can never beat Harry to the Snitch? Ginny Weasley thinks she knows the answer: diamonds don't shine before they're polished.

Sorting out your love life is hard, as Seamus Finnigan knows only too well. When Cyprian beauty Callista Diotrephes enrolls in Gryffindor he thinks he’s got it made, especially when she agrees to go out with him. But she’s not the only pretty new girl. Isabella Giordano and her sister Avalon have also joined the school, and although Isabella is a Slytherin and an enemy, Seamus finds he’s seeing a lot more of her than his girlfriend...

One night in the common room Hermione reprimands Ron. He doesn't like it, so he gets loud; unfortunately, his twin brothers are around. They answer the question Ron shouted. The answer they give leaves the whole Gryffindor house traumatised.

Fred proposes to Angelina. Yes, I know this has been done before. Sweet enough to make your teeth rot.

A question from Millicent Bulstrode leads to sudden popularity for Snape. This could be the only time she gets named in a summary in my fics.

Yet another Draco/Pansy one-shot that takes place from their wedding day to somewhere shortly after it. All-dialogue, short and vaguely fluffy fic.

Voldemort has a daughter. It doesn't seem surprising at first, but then you find out she has a huge crush on the Boy-Who-Lived. Throw in a feast, firewhiskeys and Neville's affair with Ginny under Ron's nose, and the only thing you could get is humor. Sequel to Parvati Patil and the Depressed Boy-Who-Lived.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone... everyone knows it. Most of us know it word for word. But one person doesn't and is rewriting it... with disastrous results. Fortunately for us, they have a picky beta-reader. The beta-reader always has their two cents worth to say. Who will go insane first--writer or beta-reader? Will the story be mutilated to be nearly unrecognizable?

Everyone is out to get Harry. Thankfully, Harry has the power of love on his side. A parody of the "Harry Potter and the Veil of Mystery" fanfic by Semprini.

Three versions of Draco imagining his love life. Another of these Permission Slip stories. This is Draco/everyone-he-can-think-of. In deference to fanfic tradition, this story is deliberately full of cliches, and partly slashy; after the introduction, there\\\'s a straight version, a gay version and a narcissistic version. Pick one, or choose all three and get confused.

Draco has a soft spot(!) for a certain someone. She's an American exchange student who's made her way to Hogwarts. She causes tensions and provides a way for the terrific trio and a dark serpent to become friends. Beware: there are some twists.

For the last seventeen years, Draco Malfoy has been living out his life beneath an impenetrable mask, hiding his true feelings from the world. Now, thanks to the persistence of Luna Lovegood and the end of the war, Draco is emerging from behind his walls - and about to collide with the infamous Harry Potter.

When Charlie Weasley comes home to the Burrow, he stops in to see Ron. Charlie hasn't seen his kid brother in what feels like an eternity. They start talking about what happened in Ron's third year at Hogwarts when Charlie gives some revealing information about one of Ron's professors.

Neville discovers his spine, with a little unexpected help from Professor Snape. Set in fourth year, but doesn’t really have anything to do with GoF.

Harry, as per usual, recognizes at once the tell-tale swoops of his stomach and leaps of his heart. Hermione, on the other hand, is much, much slower on the uptake. But when complications arise concerning a very freckled, very furious Ronald Bilius Weasley, their seemingly well-fated romance tips dangerously into the realms of unlikelihood.

Ron Weasley was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them

"So you're going to be an old maid?" queried Ginny. "All alone in life, smelling of cat droppings and stale chocolate cake?" ````"Don't forget sour cabbage," added Hermione. ````Ginny helps Hermione realise that she does care for a certain red-headed prat more than she realises. Featuring a stunned Hermione, smirking Ginny, and a brief mention of stampeding penguins. R/Hr

Creepy randomness, the product of a late night and several cold pills... enjoy!

A short follow-up to Research and Development, but it stands on its own. Harry and Remus, a couple of years after the defeat of Voldemort. Snape’s been making adjustments to the Wolfsbane potion, and Remus finds there are consequences when he doesn’t take it as directed.

“Who are you people?”````“Isn’t it obvious? Honestly, you don’t do our intelligence credit.” The speaker rose and began to pace, even as another girl in a patchwork dress grabbed the newly vacated chair and began to dance with it as she hummed an old Beatles tune. ``“We’re you,” the McGonagall-like creature explained, gesturing to the row of girls. “All of us. We are the representatives of the various people that combine to create your personality. We are here, Hermione, because you need to sort your life out. And if there is anyone qualified to help you organize your priorities and make some real decisions, it is us. Or should I say you? No matter.”

On one very hot summer night, Harry goes out to satisfy his burning desire. Only to find the best he could have wished for and more: Draco Malfoy. Harry seduces with a song, succesfully.

Ron Weasley was your average eleven-year-old wizard at Hogwarts... He played Wizard Chess with his friends in his spare time, never missed one of those Quidditch mathces, and hated Professor Snape with every fiber in his body. This is the story of our little, innocent Ron making his way into manhood. Through embarrassing conversations with his older brothers, strange dreams featuring a certain girl, and Muggle romance novels, watch Mr. Ronald Weasley discover the art of girls and kissing. AU First Year.

A Kwikspell advertisement complete with testimonials.

Remus Lupin gets sacked, heads for the Hog's Head, and reminisces about Order history and procedure, including the infamous Patronus-communications.

Harry and Cho go on a magical ride. Written for a Valentine's Day Challenge.

A short little songfic about two different relationships. Set to the song "She Likes Me For Me" by Blessid Union of Souls. I kinda changed some words though.

Inside, you will find a group of carefully organized poems, written by Harry Potter himself. The poems are not only undescriptive and obscure, but hilarious due to their oddities!

I'm Falling Deep, I can't get out, I've never acted this way before....Find out what is going through one of your Favorite Slytherin's head..a song fic to the song 'Drawing Board' from Mest.

Perhaps the nightmare we all dread coming to life is a situation where you have absolutely no idea what to do, and even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to go about doing it. Sunday morning, Draco Malfoy found himself in this exact predicament. Draco somehow is transported to a place he doesn't want to be. Not a romance.

Snape ponders how awful Valentine's Day can be for a lonely teacher with no real friends.

Excerps from the mental brainstorming session between Minerva McGonagall, an author with a headcold and writer's block, and a few meandering fictional characters looking for party snacks.

A cousin from Beauxbatons sends Blaise a very interesting invention of his. Hagrid has a new, very unusual, pet, but Mortie acquires a pet that is really undeard of...

Harry's friends have been kidnapped. Draco's friends have been kidnapped. What now? Read and find out.

What happens when that time of month descends upon that normally level-headed woman, Lily Evans.

It's Ron and Hermione's Wedding Day, and as someone once said, "All that can go wrong, will go wrong." Featuring, JamesBond!Harry, PossiblyGay!Dean, Distraught!Ron and a hell of alot of duct tape. And some staples, too.

One morning, while imprisoned in Azkaban, Lucius, Crabbe Sr., and Goyle Sr. awake to discover the prison empty. They escape and meet many adventures as they attempt to make it home to their families (and beloved Master!). A hilarious parody of O Brother Where Art Thou, filtered through J.K. Rowling's universe.

Sixth year at Hogwarts; Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini are using some very interesting 'substances'. When Draco and Harry place a bet, Harry completely changes in all ways and starts using the mysterious drug, too. But nothing seems to last long when the professors come up with a ‘reasonable punishment’ for the two. Who will win the bet? What will be the consequences? And why does Lucius act strangely out of character? Eventual H/D.

For Valentine's Challenge on FA. Katie Bell adores George Weasley, but doesn't know how to let him know. The prefects are planning a Valentine's dance and Ron really dislikes missing his dinner.

Saturday morning in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. James grouses, Peter snores, and Remus is subjected to the poking and prodding of one Sirius Black. Curse Padfoot and his early rising tendencies!

In which Hermione is featured in and out of character, Ron is an unfaithful naughty boy, Dean is left with bruises but isn't important enough to get a line, Ginny seeks revenge and so does Lavender ... And all because Ronnie was in the bathroom.

Each of Harry's years at Hogwarts have been exciting and he expected his fifth to be the same. What he didn't expect was two new girls, Meara Redmond and Elspeth Tweedie. Seventh years with a very unique minds and personalities, ``Meara and Elspeth bring fresh humour to Hogwarts.

Humorous fic: A day in the life of Hogwarts, from the perspective of a *genuine* oakwood floorboard. features Snape, Aurors, renegade Muggles, You-Know-Who and Bertha Jorkins.

Have you ever wondered what various Potter characters wear at night to sleep in? Well, everyone is called down to the Great Hall in the middle of the night, wearing their pajamas (or not in some cases). Who's the kid walking around in footy-pajamas? And what's that stuff on Pansy's face? And why is Neville blushing? This is a humorous one-shot.

George Weasley is introducing his girlfriend to his family, and that is a doubtful success - until a young girl knocks at the door and saves the situation.

Post-HBP-- Harry decides to return to seventh year at Hogwarts, and he discovers something that will help in his quest for the horcruxes a lot...

McGonagall visits number 4, Privet Drive, in the first week of November 1981.

The end of a lot longer than five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes (and counting). Written for the rt_challenge April 2006 ficathon.

Luna Lovegood is a first year, fresh off the Hogwarts Express, and within minutes, she’s already earned herself the title ‘Loony’. Things aren’t looking so good for the young girl and her invisible Harblawengs.

All Ginny Weasley ever wanted was for Harry Potter to love her. She dreamed they would get married and have beautiful children. Now, when it seems that dream has been shattered completely, Ginny must pick up the pieces and make a new life for herself.

A girl appears at the school. Her name is Charlotte Snape and she's from the future. She has no idea how or why she managed to travel through time, so while they figure out how to send her back, she'll stay and be a student like Mum and be taught by Dad.

Standing in the middle of a Muggle jail with Hermione Granger was certainly not how he’d expected to spend his Saturday, no matter whose fault it really was.

It's Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, and Voldemort has effectively declared war on the Ministry. As if that's not enough, there's a new DADA professor with a big secret, an old school friend of Dumbledore's keeps dropping by, and Fawkes is suffering from the phoenix equivalent of adolescence!

A Christmas fic staring MWPP in the Sixties through the eyes of a chocoholic, enthusiatic, child-loving teaching assistant. Read as she slowly loses her patience with heart throb! Sirius, Obsessed with Lily! James, and a flamboyant angel Gabriel. But will she be able to pull the show off with a jazzed up 'Away in a Manger' and keep her job?

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Really, who eats porridge anymore? A humourous story full of stew, chairs and beds. And a dancing dove gray ribbon.

Wormtail buys Voldemort a diary. A diary that writes back. Voldemort has a lot of "fun" being annoyed, and at the end... you'll find out.

The Marauders and Snape are hitting the trail, Oregon Trail to be exact. And they're not so much hitting it as watching it on James's computer.... Anyway, it's fraught with oxen, mysterious voices and horrible music. Join them, you'll have an interesting story to tell the therapist.

This story explores the connotations of red, shows you exactly why graveyards are so interesting, and takes you on a guided tour of Dudley Dursley's stomach courtesy of Trevor the toad.

Part of my Sailing Ships Challenge. Lucius and Narcissa are in the delivery room. Lucius' hand will never be the same. And Bellatrix Just. Won't. Stop. Giggling. LuciusNarcissa

A romance, of a sort. Because even giant squids get lonely sometimes.

Teenage Sirius Black finds his Potions Master's private``stash and decides to have a party in the dungeon.

Join Hermione Granger as she leads you on a personal tour of Hogwarts. But things don't seem to go as smoothly as she had planned...

Hey, you asked for it! More awful slash jokes, fandom cliches, and sudden inexplicable OOCness. This time, Seamus is being stalked. Is it the slashers, or someone more sinister, more devious... more squealing?

Your guess is about as good as mine. It's a sequel to Humiliation's Friend and a Blush

Sequel to "Snape, After Midnight" So...what happened to the picture?

The Marauders are skint and Sirius has a Plan to make some cash. All he needs is some help from his Animagi friends - and possibly a collar with spikes.

Join Lord Voldemort for the everyday adventurers of his life. Discover his inner feelings on subjects and skiing.

After a series of unfortunate events enfold in Lily's life, she finds herself, stumbling into a reluctant friendship with an unlikely boy, over the her last year at Hogwarts and the years that follow it slowly turns into a sweet, first love and then into an intimate relationship that would one day tear them apart.