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Little-noticed second spoiler briefly appearing on AOL before the Ministry of Magic threatened an Unforgiveable Curse on the perpetrators.

Words: 1,024
Chapters: 1
Hits: 956

Ron watches Harry and Hermione and decides to put a plan to set them up into action. Of course, Ron just might not be the best plan-former... but let's see if it works out! H/Hr.

Words: 2,028
Chapters: 3
Hits: 955
Idyll by Rowen Redford
06/21/2004

Sometimes finding your soulmate can be a difficult business. In Severus Snape’s case, the process involves a defective timeturner, a slightly more rugged version of Tom Riddle, and the quest for a perfect vegetable marrow. As the champagne corks begin to pile up back at Hogwarts, Snape takes an involuntary dive into a flowerbed, sputters incoherently, and manages to rewrite history. In that order.

Words: 2,847
Chapters: 1
Hits: 955

An AU version of what might have happened on Hallowe\\\'en of book 1. Featuring a less passive Hermione and almost no feast.

Words: 1,377
Chapters: 1
Hits: 954

A misunderstood boy attempts to depart from the mortal realm (read: he throws himself off a tall object)...will he succeed, or will that special someone save his life?

Words: 589
Chapters: 1
Hits: 954

Hermione, Ginny and Luna spend an evening at a village fair. Friendship fic.

Words: 2,656
Chapters: 1
Hits: 953

Inspired by the Bert and Ernie Sing-Along LP! Casting Severus Snape as Bert and Harry Potter as Ernie! (Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street.) Warning: Harry is wildly OOC. Snape is fairly OOC.

Words: 644
Chapters: 1
Hits: 952

When Neville comes across a strange and interesting plant, will it bring him the girl of his dreams, or the destruction of the wizarding world? Romance, suspense, and hilarity blossom in this parody of the musical "Little Shop Of Horrors." Includes Neville/Ginny, Singing!Snape, a sexy Mandrake named GinnyII, and a very reluctant Trio as backup singers.

Words: 2,024
Chapters: 1
Hits: 951

Sequel to The Prime Minister's greatest shock. Jonathan Stewart has to cope with the fact that his daughter is a witch. May Stewart has to cope with the fact that she's not at all famous anymore, although she always swore she didn't care. In a time overshadowed by a Dark Lord rising back to power, how does the Prime Minister's daughter experience both sides - as a witch and Muggle? Lecture of the prequel recommended to get to know her father, but not necessary.

Words: 3,928
Chapters: 2
Hits: 951

Sup yo? I be Hairy Pimper, in one of da four crackhouses of Ho-warts Elementary skoo. But mah rents, dey be mad stupid yo, dey don't understand whatta fine-ass biatch dey got fo' uh son. Like here, at da breakfast table, dey be all...

Words: 2,232
Chapters: 2
Hits: 950

It's Harry's second year at Hogwarts, and Severus Snape continues to serve his years at Hogwarts. But students are getting frozen, and he's getting tired of being the one to solve everyone's problems. Featuring a lovely song from Professor Sprout. A parody of Boublil and Schonberg's musical "Les Miserables."

Words: 1,900
Chapters: 1
Hits: 949

The long-awaited (rolls eyes) sequel to "Sweet Little Sister." Ron and Hermione have finally stopped avoiding the issue and admitted that they are, in fact, completely in love with each other. Tonight, they visit the room of Requirement. Hey, two young people in love, a private room. What can go wrong? Absolutely everything! This is Ron and Hermione we're talking about. If you don't ship R/Hr, you're gonna really HATE this one!

Words: 2,714
Chapters: 1
Hits: 948

Much awaited ~sequel~ to Provocative New Uniforms. Harry, Ron and Hermione meet Legolas, vain elf of the Woodland Realm!``It's not a requirement to read the first fic in this story, but if you don't, you may wonder why there are Mood underpants, abs, and W.C. (no, not the toilet) in this story.

Words: 1,378
Chapters: 1
Hits: 948

The final battle with a twist.

Words: 678
Chapters: 1
Hits: 948

During the final battle, Hermione accidentally saves the life of Lucius Malfoy. In order to free himself of the life debt, he finds himself helping her seek revenge.

Words: 12,065
Chapters: 1
Hits: 948

Canon Draco stumbles into Muggle London, where he visits an Internet Cafe and discovers something very interesting.

Words: 1,180
Chapters: 1
Hits: 948
MSTing Around by MagicFingers
04/20/2004

What happens when you throw five people and one house-elf into a surprisingly small room, complete with Harry Potter book one? Dark heavy rainclouds galore!!

Words: 1,441
Chapters: 1
Hits: 947

Sirius and Remus decide to lighten up the Order's mood by doing a humourous little spoof of Harry and a dementor.

Words: 893
Chapters: 1
Hits: 947

An illustrious story of sex, holiday greenery, not so internal monologues, sex, gay, gay, gay, sex, gay sex, and attempted murder... did I mention the gay sex? And yes, it was induced by some very enjoyable peppermint tea.

Words: 684
Chapters: 1
Hits: 946

One day a parchment airplane bumped into Pansy's head - and survived. It read "I love you". Who wrote it? Was it meant for her?

Words: 4,302
Chapters: 1
Hits: 946

Whumpf!! Harry Potter lands with a thump, right on top of a very disgruntled Draco Malfoy....

Words: 3,542
Chapters: 1
Hits: 946
Playing With Potions by Aytin
04/03/2003

Fred and George want to hook up Harry and Ginny so they make a love potion. ``But they ought to know that the use of love potions have become cliched and love potions are hardly drunk by the person for whom it is intended. ``H/G fluff

Words: 3,131
Chapters: 1
Hits: 945

What would happen if the real-life friends of this particular author took over Harry Potter's world as the characters themselves? Craziness, nuclear missiles, and plenty of dark corners. What else is there, anyway?

Words: 2,586
Chapters: 2
Hits: 944
Wrong Direction by D.J.Malfoy
12/30/2006

Hermione and Ron get lost on their way to Harry's wedding. Ron makes a wrong turn, and Hermione gets angry.

Words: 1,572
Chapters: 1
Hits: 941

Harry Potter/Batman crossover! Harry Potter is kidnapped by the Joker--need I say more? Who will save the boy-who-lived? Find out next time; same time, same place.

Words: 1,819
Chapters: 2
Hits: 940

Snape and McGonagall attempt to revive the Dueling Club at Hogwarts.

Words: 1,094
Chapters: 1
Hits: 940
Baby on Board by Ramzes
03/11/2008

Sirius Black is eighteen. That is good. He's just graduated from Hogwarts. That is good, too. He has recently been married. That is worse. He is going to have a baby. That is the worst thing possible! SBOC

Words: 10,327
Chapters: 3
Hits: 938

Did Harry force himself on a girl in the dungeon? Or is he really gay? Does anyone really know what's going on with him? Does Harry even know what he wants? Maybe it's not what he thinks he wants.

Words: 1,977
Chapters: 1
Hits: 936

What would it take for Snape to *give* points to Gryffindor... Find out! Mildly slashy. Very mildly slashy.

Words: 704
Chapters: 1
Hits: 933
Almost Marital Bliss by Melk
09/27/2002

Lily and James Potter, an infamous couple, the parents of The Boy Who Lived, laid down their lives to protect him. Switch back to the past by a few years, and on the happiest day of his life, James Potter is trying to stealthily climb out the window and scarper off down the road...

Words: 2,294
Chapters: 1
Hits: 933

Ever wondered what Harry Potter and his pals would say if they could read fan fiction? That's right, they'd probably sue for defamation of character. And just to ensure that event never happens, I have penned a letter for them that outlines precisely why we fan fiction writers are so unbearably cruel to them...

Words: 1,384
Chapters: 1
Hits: 930

Aberforth Dumbledore's goats had their fair share of mishaps too, possibly even as magnificent as the fabled Harry Potter's! From discussions on just why Aberforth chased his goats in the field all day to bucking off angry fire-heads, Aberforth's goats led an incredible life.

Words: 2,328
Chapters: 1
Hits: 930

JK Rowling retires for a little while and the characters are stuck with a VERY STRANGE author. But things don't go out the way she planned...

Words: 2,037
Chapters: 3
Hits: 930

Sirius's late-night adventures become, suddenly, more trouble than they're worth. Implied slash...but that's not the squicky part. You have been warned.

Words: 593
Chapters: 1
Hits: 929

It's Christmas time and to honour this Draco made Ron a present. There is only one problem, Ron really likes it!

Words: 685
Chapters: 1
Hits: 929
Lust, Pride, Envy by anedac
09/25/2004

Seven Hogwarts students are afflicted with the seven deadly sins. Oh, the torment! Featuring Draco/coffee as the main ship. Seriously.

Words: 6,990
Chapters: 1
Hits: 927

And before Harry could defended himself, Malfoy had spat angrily, "Well, damn your t00by woes, Potter." A look into the t00by thoughts of Harry Potter. Humour and implied H/D slash.

Words: 1,171
Chapters: 1
Hits: 926
The Black Box by Rymdodo
05/28/2003

Harry finds a black box which HE thinks is a Karaoke box ... chaos abound when the Gryffindor boys decide to hold a Karaoke Night in their dorm! ``WARNING: May contain pink fluffy bunnies.

Words: 1,933
Chapters: 2
Hits: 926

Remember in Professor Lupin's office in third year, when Remus gave Harry some butterbeer? Yes? Well just what WAS going on in that head? Inside: the inner workings of a werewolf's mind...

Words: 733
Chapters: 1
Hits: 925

What happened between the time Sirius arrived at Remus's and the time he left to contact the old crowd? Written Pre-OotP

Words: 2,495
Chapters: 1
Hits: 925

What really happened before the Chamber of Secrets was opened? A rigged broom race, an indecent proposal, Hermione gets the Curse, Hogwarts gets a Muggle professor, his Herbologist wife and their daughter, just back home from starting her Delivery Service...

Words: 20,166
Chapters: 1
Hits: 924

How many times, while you were reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, did you want to smack Umbridge? Well, for every time in Order of the Pheonix when this happened, I decided to write my own version of events. Like instead of walking away, Harry beats the crap out of the toad lady. I know if some of these things actually happened, it would ruin the plot... I was just having a bit of fun...

Words: 1,444
Chapters: 2
Hits: 924
Plan B by Carmen Black
01/17/2006

A question has been on the minds of Harry Potter fans everywhere: How will Harry defeat Voldemort? Looking for a theory that's completely illogical, totally improbable, and just plain silly? Here it is.

Words: 1,401
Chapters: 1
Hits: 923

One of the greatest child's bedtime stories comes back with a little bit of fur, sheep humping and cross-dressing

Words: 2,535
Chapters: 1
Hits: 923

It was very late when I wrote this but I don't think that is an excuse...

Words: 2,033
Chapters: 1
Hits: 921

Three decades after her days at Hogwarts, best-selling author G.M.Weaster (known in the wizarding world as Ginevra Molly Weasley-Potter) explains to a Muggle interviewer the inspiration behind her best-selling children's books...

Words: 1,719
Chapters: 1
Hits: 920

The headmaster asks Snape a favor and out into the Muggle world he must tramp.

Words: 2,243
Chapters: 1
Hits: 919
Green Fingers by The Raven
09/09/2003

In which Dumbledore is tactful, Snape throws things, Sirius discovers hidden talents, and Remus has doubts. It's just another day for the Order of the Phoenix.

Words: 1,105
Chapters: 1
Hits: 918

Hermione's in St. Mungo's, Sirius is in Milwaukee, Draco is in a coma, and darn near everyone is in love in this... er... soap opera.

Words: 1,952
Chapters: 2
Hits: 918

Draco Malfoy finds love in a bathroom, and Dennis Creevey finds love in an even more unexpected place. Can our two heroes find a way to live with their true loves, or will fate break them apart? A parody of Rodgers' & Hammerstein's classic musical South Pacific.

Words: 1,465
Chapters: 1
Hits: 917

Well, this is indeed from the desk of Draco Malfoy... and it ain't pretty. Apparently, he found this website and decided to bitch us all out. Here's his letter... yet another reason for you all to point and laugh at him! Don't you just love this guy?

Words: 627
Chapters: 1
Hits: 916

The Wizarding World is turned upside down by a mysterious force. Harry is an evil mastermind, Hermione's a scarlet woman, Neville is a womanizing macho man and Voldy is suddenly scarily nice! It's up to JK Rowling to save the day... and the plot! WARNING: contains insane humor!

Words: 3,682
Chapters: 2
Hits: 915
Sirius Issues by Megan Drew
10/04/2002

The Marauders have an interesting discussion about what makes them pathetic.

Words: 658
Chapters: 1
Hits: 915
Weirdo Talkshow I by Hawky015
06/21/2005

Welcome to Weirdo Talkshow! Join Mini, Patch, Tiny and Splat on an insanely OOC talkshow featuring SomewhatMentallyIll!Voldemort.

Words: 2,957
Chapters: 3
Hits: 914
A Winning Bet by jncarlin
03/14/2007

When Tonks decides to bake cookies for Sirius, Remus places a wager that he can't lose.

Words: 2,779
Chapters: 1
Hits: 913

A parodyfic in which Hogwarts is blatantly cloned into a stereotypical American high school, Ron glowers in existentialistic gloom, Flitwick coaches basketball, and Harry... tries to adapt to it all.

Words: 1,513
Chapters: 2
Hits: 913

The adventures of Lucius Malfoy and his cane.

Words: 667
Chapters: 1
Hits: 912

What do you get when you introduce characters from the Lord of the Rings series into the Potterverse? A confusing, hilarious mess filled with dark curses and jealous looks. See if Harry, Ron and Hermione can help Frodo get back to Middle Earth. And what do Draco Malfoy and Voldemort have in common? Find out in this silly, funny parody where Dark Lords abound and no one's quite sure who's related to whom.

Words: 3,340
Chapters: 1
Hits: 911

This is what happens when you read too much fan fiction. It's not pretty. Rated R for language and blatant stupidity. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll run away screaming. You'll ask to have my computer destroyed.

Words: 1,890
Chapters: 1
Hits: 911
Owlery by Daniele Rossi
11/28/2001

Here's my first fanfic. It takes place in the Owlery starring the animals of Hogwarts.

Words: 2,256
Chapters: 1
Hits: 911

My take on Sleeping Beauty, while using and abusing the Harry Potter characters. Inn’t it fun? Ginny as the Princess, Harry as the Prince, and Draco is my way of giving the Grimm brothers a raspberry.

Words: 4,144
Chapters: 1
Hits: 911

Sequel to Snape's New Look. Hermione has returned to Hogwarts, looking for revenge and a husband. Could the Hogwarts staff help Hermione out? Although there is no graphic sex, this story includes smutty humor and swearing, as well as mentions of homosexuality.

Words: 2,295
Chapters: 2
Hits: 910

When George accidentally smashes the Snitch at a Quidditch match, the whole school goes into hysterics. Read it or George will smash you, too.

Words: 1,049
Chapters: 1
Hits: 909

Draco Malfoy is stuck in a hole and decides he REALLY doesn't like Green veges and the colour black- read to see what results from these stunning revelations!

Words: 728
Chapters: 1
Hits: 909
Try Me by Evil Yard Gnome
11/27/2002

This fic involves the teachers and a game of truth-or-dare.

Words: 605
Chapters: 1
Hits: 909
Insanity by Dragongrl122
12/10/2003

Insanity, insanity. What a word. Draco loses a bet with Ron, and ends up paying the consequences with his sanity.

Words: 7,338
Chapters: 3
Hits: 907

Quirrell's turban has been misused, and he's not afraid to tell it! I bring you another METMA rant!

Words: 438
Chapters: 1
Hits: 906

Professor McGonagall gives counsel to each fifth-year Gryffindor. Here's a look at what each of seven redheads has to say.

Words: 708
Chapters: 1
Hits: 906

Straight from the book of fables to your computer! Maybe there is a good reason why the actual book characters don't have scripts to read!

Words: 1,141
Chapters: 1
Hits: 905

The Marauder have a big booze up after flattening Slytherin in the Quidditch cup, unfortunatly, they wake to some horrific conseqences...

Words: 1,410
Chapters: 1
Hits: 905

Hermione Granger; student by day, matchmaker by... er, day. She fixes up the most seemingly unlikely people. AND IT WORKS! Kind of.

Words: 1,580
Chapters: 2
Hits: 905
A Lesson in Life by punurple
01/09/2004

Minerva McGonagall must once again teach the sex ed class for the sixth years. Exactly how will it go? A fic for the Sex Ed Challenge on the Minerva Magic Thread.

Words: 925
Chapters: 1
Hits: 903

Doesn't it bother you when you want to ask the Harry Potter characters a question? We have a lot of them here! And the burning questions still stays open... is Lucius really gay?

Words: 1,477
Chapters: 1
Hits: 903

Because Draco Malfoy is an oppressed little boy-- er-- man. Also known as `Draco's Foolproof Plan to Kill Potter Dead This Time.'

Words: 2,724
Chapters: 1
Hits: 903

On a quest for hair gel, revenge, and a really good snog, Draco Malfoy, with only green M&M's to console him, begins to wonder if he has finally become too really really ridiculously good-looking. A ficlet in which Slytherins get crafty, though not as you might imagine, Hannah Abbot dreams of thongs, Ron goes pyro, Ginny saves the day, and in true Hollywood fashion, there are lots and lots of explosions.

Words: 6,571
Chapters: 1
Hits: 903

A momentary lapse in concentration leads to a stressful few days for Harry Potter.

Words: 8,210
Chapters: 2
Hits: 902
To Lose a Bet by Ashkah
01/11/2004

Draco has lost a bet to Blaise. Now he has to honor it. However, Blaise has other intentions than just embarrassing the Slytherin Prince.

Words: 4,890
Chapters: 1
Hits: 901

Harry. Ron. French kissing practise. Need I say any more?

Words: 1,323
Chapters: 1
Hits: 900
Insertion by Fyre
02/08/2003

Lucius Malfoy has a run in with a rather... odd creature in Knockturn Alley. The poor, shexshay, blond bombshell of lustable, lickab...er...I mean, the poor evil fiend. Yes. Evil fiend. That's what he is. "Okay. That would be a big yes... so... are you ready to fall madly in love with me? I mean, it’s in the rules. You meet a self-insertion and you fall in love with them and they change their name to Mary-Sue. Everyone knows that!"

Words: 2,682
Chapters: 1
Hits: 900

The ladies of Hogwarts meet to wrestle with a directive from Dumbledore: "It is a Hogwarts tradition to always accommodate a member of the faculty."

Words: 1,484
Chapters: 1
Hits: 899

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Ginny, Fred, & George discuss how the fanon may sway the canon. Harry and Draco each manage to demonstrate some tried but true 'moves' on Ginny.

Words: 4,181
Chapters: 2
Hits: 898

The memoirs, musings and meanderings of Malfoy Senior, written during his final year as a free man. Read all about his evil scheming, the train crash that is his love life, and his image problems (a Death-Eater's uniform is hardly the most attractive attire one could wish for, after all.)

Words: 2,590
Chapters: 1
Hits: 897

James and Lily hold their first dinner party as a married couple, and get roped playing a truth game. Involves erotic dreams, table dancing and Indian names.

Words: 2,427
Chapters: 1
Hits: 897
I Do...? by Lily Granger
09/10/2003

Umbridge likes Snape. Snape DOESN'T like Umbridge. At all. Whatsoever. When Umbridge starts showing more signs of insanity than the average toadlike pink fluffball, Snape begins to think that he would rather have Potter. Cameo appearances by Mr. Diggle, a flannel wedding tux, Dorothy Gale, and an old priest who needs some money to put food on the table. Read at your own risk.

Words: 1,253
Chapters: 1
Hits: 894
Wascally Wabbits by Jayne1955
01/16/2004

A Draco redemption story! Ron and Neville bungle a spell, turning Draco and Hermione into rabbits. What happens next is normal for rabbits, but not for Hermione. It disgusts Ron, embarrasses Harry and changes how Draco sees Hermione forever.

Words: 2,047
Chapters: 1
Hits: 893
Bloody Potions by Sindie
10/06/2003

While in Potions class one day, Hermione suddenly must confront Snape because of some "troubles" she is having.

Words: 2,830
Chapters: 1
Hits: 893
Breakfast Saga by Mexx
01/02/2004

Told through a series of weekend breakfast time encounters, Hermione watches her two roommates get closer. Harry/Draco. Mentions Hermione/Ron, Draco/Ginny, Draco/Other, and Harry/Other.

Words: 3,556
Chapters: 1
Hits: 893

What exactly does one get the Most-Supreme-Head-Death Eater for Christmas? Especially for 12 days? Find out!

Words: 576
Chapters: 1
Hits: 892

While Ron and Hermione are occupied doing *other things*, Harry wanders about the halls of Hogwarts. He accidentally bumps into someone who calls herself Mary Sue. A ficlet that gets revenge on the plot recker!

Words: 501
Chapters: 1
Hits: 892

Harry surprises Draco with a trip to the Muggle cinema to watch a certain third instalment of a series of movies about a young wizard with a lightning bolt-shaped scar. How does Draco react when he sees himself on the big screen?

Words: 2,892
Chapters: 1
Hits: 892

Seventh year is so difficult for Harry that he must find a way to ease his workload by using an ancient potion. Of course, strange things begin happening at Hogwarts. This is a parody fic for The Firelight.

Words: 11,735
Chapters: 1
Hits: 892

The boys are at it again! James has a vial filled with gas draft, Sirius has some itching powder, and... who turned all the owls green?

Words: 4,360
Chapters: 2
Hits: 891

Harry plays the fiddle and Draco is the devil... But what's different about that?

Words: 2,229
Chapters: 1
Hits: 890

It's another angst-filled year at Hogwarts. How will Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny deal And why are the girls wearing mini-skirts?

Words: 4,316
Chapters: 1
Hits: 890
Arrested Development by reena
07/31/2004

Ron knows two things without a shadow of a doubt: Malfoy is an evil prick. And Harry? Harry is gay.

Words: 3,964
Chapters: 1
Hits: 890

From the point of view of the Mirror of Erised, who isn't terribly happy with the heart's desires he has to see!

Words: 401
Chapters: 1
Hits: 889