What Eyes Can See

Chapter 5 - Threats

It was a wonder no one noticed anything, Hermione thought warily. She knew their secret, but still, how could you miss it? All the looks, the nervous glances and slight touches, the seemingly accidental and random bumps and brushes in the hallways. The way Professor Lupin never called on Ron, the habit Ron had made of staying after class, and how Ron was always missing from after dinner until late at night. How they both seemed tense, and how they were always in the same place even if they weren't next to each other. It was completely obvious. How can people miss this? Do they not want to see? Do they refuse to believe, or are they just too wrapped up in their own lives?

Whatever it was, it couldn't last. Someone was bound to figure it out sooner or later.

~~~~~~~

Ron had been coming to Remus for about three weeks now. Three weeks of secret meetings and strangely detached embraces. They were all the same. Remus would be sitting in front of the fire, grading papers or homework or some such thing. Ron would come in and stand in front of him. Remus would set down his quill, and then Ron would sit next to him on the couch.

Awkward was not really the word. Awkward was much too mild a word in fact. Neither had wanted to open their arms first and both had felt too foolish to say anything. Finally Ron flung himself at Remus, whose arms immediately closed around him. Still, neither ever spoke, and Ron always felt strangely hollow as he left.

I don't know... if it would be better not to touch him at all.

Was this to be the rest of his life then? Living day to day, fending off the pain with indifferent contact each night?

It's all I've got, Ron gloomily reminded himself as he stopped in front of the statue that guarded Remus's room.

"Zion."

But this time nothing happened.

Ron rubbed his chest. Remus had been in class today. He wouldn't have gone anywhere. He must have changed the password. But why?

"Mr. Weasley."

Spinning around, Ron's breath hitched in his throat. "Headmaster." Is Remus all right?

Dumbledore smiled genially. "It's the full moon tonight. Remus wanted me to remind you in case you forgot and came here. Now that I have, perhaps you should retire to your common room?"

Oh. Duh. Full moon.

"Of course sir. I did forget. I'll be going..."

~~~~~~~

Where was the man-cub?

Growling, the wolf scratched at the bedpost. The Wolfsbane Potion calmed the bloodlust, but could not stop the transformation itself. And it could not completely stop the wolf's natural instincts.

Where is the man-child? Where is my mate?

The wolf should be with its companion, its match. It stuck its muzzle into the air, catching a faint whisper of his mate's scent in the air.

My mate...

It followed the trail across the room, tracking from the door to the couch. Smelling that his scent was heaviest there, it lay itself across the cushions.

I will be with my mate soon.

Comforted, it soon dropped into sleep, the firelight catching the silver highlights in its pelt.

~~~~~~~

"It's not like it seems you know."

Ron turned towards where Remus lay on the grass.

"Sometimes to be unfulfilled is because you have yet to understand," Hermione commented idly as she picked flowers and braided them together. Then Harry appeared, clothed in a long white robe, his face oddly devoid of emotion.

"The stones call to you. Their brothers and sisters join their cry."

Then all three the figures turned towards him, eyes shining brighter than humanly possible.

"Three ways tempt. Which do you follow?"

Gasping, Ron sat up straight. Scrambling for something to hold on to, he pitched forward, sliding halfway off the bed.

"What the hell?" he rasped. He'd never never had a dream like that before. So real. Strange. Scary. Remus being in his dreams, yeah, he could understand that. But Hermione and Harry? And the things they said... The whole thing just had a weird feel.

Calmed enough to function, Ron slid the rest of the way off the bed and walked to the window. A brightly gleaming full moon smiled down at him. It mocked and tempted him at the same time.

Against his will Ron's gaze slid to the trunk at the foot of Harry's bed. Maybe he could borrow the Invisibility Cloak for a while. Go for a walk. Yeah. He could do that. Harry wouldn't mind. Harry was sleeping now anyway, snoring as usual. Seamus was awake though. Ron jolted.

How do I know Seamus is awake? He strained his ears. Oh, he's not wheezing of course, that's why.

"Hey Seamus," he said softly. He heard the rustle of sheets as Seamus jumped in surprise.

"Bad dream?"

"Guess you heard me. Did I wake you?"

More rustling. "No. I was all ready up. Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither." The room was too constricting. Ron just had to leave. "I'm going for a walk. I'll see you in the morning."

Ron grabbed the cloak and headed for the door, taking care to open it slowly.

"Don't get caught," Seamus said quietly. Ron could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'll try not to."

And he was gone.

~~~~~~~

He ended up walking around outside. From the Quidditch pitch to Hagrid's hut to the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. Not too far in of course, since even during the daytime it was dangerous enough and this was the full moon. A full moon brings out many things, not just werewolves.

The air was damp and wet, a perfect November night. It would snow soon. Tomorrow, or the next day. The match against Slytherin is going to be canceled. A shame really. We would have won, with Harry catching the snitch a half hour in, score 210 to 40...

Ooook, anyone else getting the heebie-jeebies? Ron shivered, even though he was not cold. Face it Ron. This Seeing stuff is looking more and more believable every second.

He wasn't going to find what he was looking for out here. Averting his gaze from the Whomping Willow he went back inside. It was still a few hours yet until classes started. Maybe he could get a little sleep.

~~~~~~~

Ron never made it to breakfast. The Gryffindors weren't overly concerned, as Seamus assured them he'd just stayed up far too late last night. The implications were not lost on Harry and Hermione however. And Remus duly noted his absence.

Where could he be? His eyes narrowed. Harry and Hermione were there. They knew, he was sure they did. But he was being ridiculous. Ron was allowed to sleep in for Christ's sake.

You're obsessing, he scolded himself. You don't see him for a day and you go off the deep end. Stupid stupid stupid. Obsessive and stupid and... and much too old for him. And dry and boring and completely beneath him.

Why hadn't Ron just run when he'd told him to?

~~~~~~~

"Zion."

Good thing the password worked today. Forget about having Quaffles in his chest; these were definitely Bludgers. And this time Ron didn't even bother with waiting. He scurried across the room and threw himself at Remus.

The combination of being horny and in pain is not something I'm enjoying.

"Full moons suck."

Remus laughed a little, his breath warm on Ron's neck. "I completely agree."

It was the first words the two had ever said in this room. Some sort of barrier had been breached, though there's no word or term for what it was or how it was done. There was just... something different.

Not so much pain now. More of the horniness though. I really really want to get into his pants again. Feeling a little slutty right now. I am the werewolf slut. Remus's slut...

And there are to be no thoughts in that direction either. Remus doesn't want me anyway. I'm too young. I have practically no experience except with him. And obviously that wasn't any good. And... what do we have in common anyhow? I'm just a stupid boy to him, a foolish young boy who lives for Quidditch, and I'm not even any good at that. The only reason he bothers with me is because he doesn't want to live in pain anymore than I do.

And that sucks. Because I do love him. More than anything. More than everything. I love his eyes and the way they used to look at me. Or they way I imagined they looked at me. I love how beautiful he is, how desirable and how underneath the veneer of staid schoolteacher he's unruly and stormy and mischievous. I like to think of how he was when he was still in school, before everything weighed him down. When he played tricks and insulted Snape freely and laughed. I bet he laughed all the time. And smiled more than he does now. He should smile more. I love his dimples.

God, listen to me. I'm such a sap. A horribly romantic, fiercely loyal, completely head over heels, totally in love sap. Which would be fine, really it would, if Remus was a sap with me. I love him much too much sometimes. Unrequited love is hell...

~~~~~~~

I wish I knew what was going on in his head right now. Just peer down and see everything that he was thinking. Is he scared? Does he want to head for the hills? Is he disgusted? Does his flesh crawl, being held by this animal, this monster, this werewolf? Is he merely happy to be rid of the pain? I don't think he's happy here. He grins so widely when he's happy. He'd nearly take my breath away when he used to smile at me.

But I know I fell for more than a pretty face. Though Ron does have a pretty face. His features aren't nearly masculine enough to be handsome, but they aren't girly or androgynous either. Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. He looks sprightly with his tousled hair and his sunny freckles. A little like the devil's own come to tempt me. Not that he's evil, for he's anything but, yet tempt me he does.

Do you know what it's like, holding him like this? Sin personified. This is what Eve felt when offered the apple, only she didn't see the strings. For her, ignorance was bliss. I can't fall into sin without dragging him down with me. Like Adam, he didn't know what he was getting into. And we've both fallen out of grace. But unlike Adam and Eve, who were fairly happy in their life together, Ron and I can't be that way. For Adam was never afraid of Eve. And here there is no snake to blame. A wolf rather, but since the wolf is part of me it's easy to see where the blame truly lies.

The worst part of all is I don't know if I want the blame to be taken away. If I could go back and say yes or no, choose between Claiming him or not... I'm not sure which I'd choose. I have him now, true, but he's an unwilling partner. But not having him... that would be infinitely worse. I know it would be.

So I'm sorry Ron. Sorry I keep you caged and near me. But I couldn't stand if you left. Maybe one day you will tolerate me. Let me do more than keep you alive. Maybe one day we'll live together.

~~~~~~~

Remus shifted. Ron was suspiciously immobile. Smoothing Ron's hair back off of his face Remus smiled. Ron had fallen asleep. "You must be exhausted to fall asleep here," he whispered tenderly. In truth Ron was quite comfortable in his arms, though he couldn't say so at the moment.

Carefully Remus carried him over to the bed, nestling him gently on the right side. He opened up Ron's robe, figuring he'd be more comfortable without it but not wanting him to freak out when he woke up so he ultimately left it on. Remus took off his own robe and in pants and a shirt slipped into the bed next to Ron.

He looked peaceful when he slept, Remus decided. He'd lost weight, stress over everything probably. The full moon had been difficult for both of them. He mentally cursed himself. How could he have been so foolish as to drag Ron into this? He was an innocent - or had been, Remus sourly reminded himself - and it wasn't Ron's fault that his twisted forty-something teacher had fallen in love with him. Of course, the crux of the matter, being a werewolf, had not helped.

Remus lightly ran his hand over Ron's hair. He stirred in his sleep, shuffling closer to Remus. He froze, but Ron settled back into the bed and his breath was regular and deep. Remus leaned back on the pillow.

Just... give me a chance... to prove I'm not a monster. I don't deserve it, I know... but just a chance...

With a troubled sigh he drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~

"Oh shit." Remus said the words very softly, his lips barely moving, but the feeling behind them was clear.

Sometime during the night he and Ron had moved closer together. Much closer together. In fact if one were to say that Ron was on top of him they would not be far wrong. Their legs were tangled together, and Ron had shifted his body next to Remus's. They were -what was it called? Spooning? Yes, spooning each other, and the feeling of Ron against Remus's groin had all ready caused some complications. The robe had slipped as well, and the mark on Ron's neck where Remus had bitten him was in plain sight.

Remus stared at the scar for a while, the place where he'd bitten Ron twice, the real reason all this was happening. He had Claimed Ron, marked him as his mate and now he could have no other. His body knew it, his mind knew it, but his heart knew it most of all.

Why this one? Why do I love the one who does not love me back? He looks at me and sees a monster.

He stroked his back gently, though he doubted Ron could feel much through the layers of clothing. Would there be a day he would come to his bed willingly? A day when he wouldn't mind being loved by a werewolf and not a whole man? At least Remus had the piece of mind of knowing that he hadn't trapped Ron in a relationship with a man when he was actually straight. That would have been infinitely worse.

He sat up and back away from Ron, gingerly untangling their legs. Then he shook him gently. "Wake up."

Ron didn't want to wake up. He was warm and sleepy and quite happy. "Leave me alone..." he mumbled. Remus jerked his hand back a little. Damn.

"I'm sorry about this but you've got to get up."

Mhhmm, that voice. Low and gravelly and all Remus. Remus? He cautiously opened one eye. "R-Remus?"

He nodded gently. "It's morning. You... ah, fell asleep here last night." Don't bolt, please don't bolt. "When we were doing having our daily... contact. I just let you sleep." He stared down at the edge of the bed. "We could... do this each night you know. You could sleep here, and we wouldn't have to worry about touching during the day..."

Ron froze in surprise. Did this mean Remus wanted their... relationship (or whatever the hell you wanted to call it) to work?

Remus noted when he stiffened. Mistaking his surprise for fear or disgust he quickly added, "You don't have to of course. It's just one solution to our physical contact problem."

Disappointed, Ron wilted and said quietly, "I'd prefer this... if that's all right."

Remus's heart leapt. Was he not afraid of him any longer? "That's... good... I mean... Uhm. The... ah, password to my room is still 'Zion'. I'll tell you when it changes."

Ron nodded and they stared at each other in silence. Hearing rapid footsteps in the hall brought them out of their stupor.

"I better get back to the Tower. Classes... and things."

Remus cleared his throat. "That's probably best." He stood and stepped away from the bed. "Sorry I didn't wake you earlier." I was too busy staring and fantasizing. And now I feel like a dirty old man.

Ron grabbed the bag he'd left near the door and walked into the hall, heading towards Gryffindor as quickly as he could. He'd make breakfast, hopefully, but if not he'd just head straight to Transfiguration. And he'd have to explain to his roommates where he'd been.

But, he thought semi-cheerfully, Remus seems to be able to be in the same room as you now. It could be worse.

~~~~~~~

It must be earlier than he thought. The common room was empty but Harry, Dean and Seamus were still in the dormitory.

"Hey guys," he said nervously.

Uh oh. What's going on? Dean looks furious, and Seamus doesn't look like he's in a good mood either. And Harry's nervous. A nervous Harry is not good.

Dean shot Ron an angry look. His eyebrows were so far drawn together he looked as though he only had one. And his face was an odd purple color.

A purple Dean...

"Care to explain where you were Ron? McGonagall dropped in on us! One of her surprise check-ups! And we had no clue where you were. We didn't know you were gone! We didn't have time to make up a decent lie! Gryffindor lost thirty points!" Dean impatiently brushed his hand through his hair. "Where were you?"

Uhhh... bathroom?

"He was with Professor Lupin."

He did not just say that. Harry did not say that. I absolutely refuse to believe he actually SAID THAT OUT LOUD!

Seamus snickered despite his peevishness, or maybe because of it. "At six-thirty in the morning? What are you doing, sleeping with him?"

"Actually, yeah he is."

He didn't say that either. Harry did not fucking say that.

Seamus stopped laughing as he looked back and forth between now-confident Harry and angry-embarrassed Ron. "Are you serious?" The corners of his mouth began to turn up. "You're actually... wow. A teacher. Just... wow."

'Wow' does not even begin to fucking cover it.

"Ron, you shouldn't let your mouth hang open like that," Harry chided. "You'll catch flies."

His face was red all the way to the tips of his ears. Even his neck was dully flushed.

Harry, why in hell are you telling them this?

Dean looked at though he'd seen McGonagall run naked through the Great Hall. "You're sleeping with Professor Lupin?"

Could I use a memory charm? They're against the law, but almost worth it I think...

Azkaban... having Dean and Seamus know he was sleeping with Remus... Azkaban... Remus... Azkaban....

Ron smiled weakly. "Yeah. I stayed after class one day, and thinks just... fell into place." The beginning's true at least.... And technically I did sleep with him last night.

Seamus nodded thoughtfully, his head bobbing up and down enthusiastically. "And that's why you were so wigged the other day! It was the full moon."

Dean looked at him quickly. "About before... don't worry about it. No problem. We're Gryffindors. We won't say a word." Gryffindor point loss forgotten, the two of them ducked quickly out of the room. However, just a second later Seamus stuck his head back in.

"And by the way Ron... nice choice. Professor Lupin is very hot." He winked and slammed the door behind him. Which was a good thing, in Ron's opinion, because now he could yell at Harry without caution.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? TELLING SEAMUS AND DEAN? ARE YOU INSANE? THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE! NOT TO MENTION THE MOST INCONSIDERATE! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN REMUS IN TROUBLE! WHAT IF THEY DECIDED TO RUN TO DUMBLEDORE? OR TO REMUS? I DOUBT EITHER OR THEM WOULD HAVE APPRECIATED IT! I CERTAINLY DON'T! RIGHT NOW I'M SO ANGRY I COULD STRANGLE YOU THE MUGGLE WAY!"

Oh good God I sound like Mum. And that thought alone was the only reason Ron stopped. And perhaps that his throat was starting to hurt.

Harry looked slightly awed. "That's some lung capacity you have there Ron. I think that's definitely a Weasley trademark." He smiled nervously. "And let's not end six years of friendship with me dead ok?"

Ron breathed heavily through his nose. "Fine. Explain exactly what THE HELL YOU WERE THINKING!"

"Well... Dean and Seamus won't tell anyone, you know they won't. And this way you can spend the whole night... or whatever... with Professor Lupin, and not worry about coming here in the mornings. You know? I thought it'd be easier." Harry shrugged. "I was trying to help. I mean, Ron, c'mon. You're running yourself ragged going back and forth. Hermione's noticed too. And it's not like the guys hadn't noticed you were gone all night. Remember how Seamus knew you left yesterday? It would only be a matter of time until one of them followed you. You were delaying the inevitable. This... this is damage control. I mean, at the end of the year it's going to come out for real you know. It has to sometime. And you know the Gryffindors won't judge."

Great, now I feel like a complete prick. Guilt. "Sorry about yelling. I mean, I didn't know what you were thinking before. Now it makes sense."

Harry grinned easily now. "Not going to kill me now?"

Ron blushed. "Naw, you're safe. Unless you do some other stupid thing."

"We still have to tell Neville."

"Think he'll faint? A student and a teacher, you know?"

"Maybe not. He spends an awful lot of time in the greenhouses with Professor Sprout."

Ok, there was an image I REALLY could have done without.

~~~~~~~

The next day it snowed. The Quidditch match against Slytherin was canceled.