Hunting For The Sun

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

Ambitions of a Lover's Mind

The fresh air had done me good. That much was clear as I sat curled up on my sofa that evening. I felt so much better for a day outside my rooms. The guilt of killing Alethea had faded in the face of Ori's joy. I turned a page in my book, pausing to allow myself a smug smile before continuing.

I was interrupted, however, by a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock. It was gone ten thirty at night now. Who would be knocking at this time? Well, a thought crossed my mind, of course, but I dismissed it, as I always did.

'Come in, the door's open,' I called, slipping a torn strip of paper between the pages and shutting my book. I folded my legs out and stood up. The door opened to reveal Ori standing outside.

He wore no shirt and his feet were bare. That wasn't, however, what drew my attention. A strip down the middle of his chest and stomach, his face, neck, hands and collarbone were raw and red.

'What happened?' I demanded, stepping aside to let him in.

'I don't think your spell worked,' he croaked. As he walked past me, I noticed that his back was fine.

'The sun?'

'It burnt me. Through my shirt,' he added, indicating the burns on his chest and stomach. He winced as he moved, holding his hands out like a zombie and not moving his face.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I gasped, trying not to cry.

'Well, I didn't want you to be upset...'

'Oh Gods, Ori! Grow up! You stayed outside all day for me?'

He nodded sheepishly, looking at the floor.

'It was hurting you all that time?'

'Yes.'

I really could have cried. I could have wailed and screamed. Why did this have to happen?

'I was going to die anyway, Rae,' he shrugged, then winced. 'I got to spend a day outside, more than I have in over a hundred years. Thank you for that.'

'You don't understand!' I cried, tears spilling down my cheeks. 'You don't understand...'

'Rae...'

'There must have been small print somewhere... It can't be like this... Raven wouldn't...'

'Rae, please...'

'I need to find the spell!'

'Rae, just help me get rid of these burns, then it can all go back to normal. Thank you for what you gave me, it was a shame Whasserface had to die to give this to me, but she was dying anyway, so...'

'There has to be a way!' I exclaimed, stamping my foot without thinking.

He walked over to me, pushing the door shut. He came close, close enough for me to smell the heat of his skin. He lifted his hand and wiped the tears from my face, his skin rough and far too hot.

'Maybe there is,' he said. 'I don't know. Go find that spell if you want to, but I need your help first. I've never had to deal with sunburn before. That's all this is. It hurts a lot and I don't like it. What do you do when you get burnt?'

I tried to gather my thoughts and listen to what he was saying.

'Uh... well, there's Aloe Vera gel and stuff. You put it on the burns and it makes them cold.'

'Do you have any?'

'There'll be some in the hospital wing...'

'Go there. Get the spell at the same time.'

Somehow, his instructions made me feel better instead of worse. I nodded and darted out of the door.

~

When I returned, he was still standing in the middle of my room. His eyes were closed and his hands hung by his sides. I couldn't believe that he hadn't told me, all because he didn't want to upset me. Why did he care?

'I've found the spell.'

He lifted his head slightly then dropped it back again.

'Should I look at it or do the cream stuff first?' I asked tentatively, a little uprooted by his silence.

'Whatever,' he mumbled, shaking his head.

'I want to see the spell,' I said firmly. He grunted.

I shut the door and sat down firmly on the ground right where I stood. I allowed the file to drop open in my lap and flicked through the pages to find the spell we had used. I remembered the words and matched them up to the right incantation. My heart thudded in my ears and blood swirled through my veins. I traced a finger down the plastic covered sheet, my nail catching on the roughness of the parchment beneath.

A delayed effect will present itself. The raised may stay in a coma for as much as ten days before they are fully regenerated...

'It's delayed!' I cried.

'What?' Ori grunted, dropping to his knees beside me.

'Most normal dead people would be in a coma while they regenerated. As you're a different type of dead, you'll keep the characteristics for a while. They'll fade slowly but you'll be fine!'

I burst into tears again and kissed his shoulder, the nearest part of him that wasn't burnt. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

'Now hurry up and rub assorted creams into my body,' he grinned. I blushed furiously.

'Joking.'

Yeah right.

I read the instructions on the back of the glass jar that I had found.

'It says to apply to burnt areas and rub in gently.'

'Shame I didn't get burnt a little lower down...'

'Shut up, Ori. You're so predictable,' I grinned, poking his arm. He squeaked and dodged away.

'Come on, get on with it, girl,' he teased.

'Alright, alright already!' I protested, popping open the wire catch on the jar and peeling the sealed lid back. I poured a dollop of the goo into my palm and smeared it over both of my hands. 'This usually stings,' I warned Ori.

He nodded and leaned back against the sofa. I flicked my hair out of my eyes and began to wipe the stuff over Ori's muscular chest. He screwed his eyes shut and tilted his head back. I could see the muscles in his jaw clenching and his hands were fisted. I scooped some more greenish goo out and spread it over the red parts of his torso and his neck.

'Gods, why me?' he laughed forcedly.

'Oh, everyone gets sunburn. It's a fact of life,' I said, starting to rub the cream into his skin. He drew his lips in between his teeth and bit down on them, breathing heavily through his nose.

'Does it hurt?' I asked nervously. Being this close to him was making me feel strange.

He hesitated.

'I think it's more to do with the fact that you're touch...' He took a deep breath. 'It tickles, is all,' he amended.

I nodded and took some more cream, lifting his hand. He drew in a sharp breath as I first touched the back of his wrist with the cold cream, but he settled back after a while. I rubbed the cream in and used the rest still on my palm to cover his other hand.

'Face now, right?' he asked heavily.

'I'm afraid so,' I replied, getting some more of the stuff out of the jar. It would run out at this rate. I smoothed his hair back with my clean hand and held it there as I rubbed the gel into his face.

I smoothed the last bits down the side of his face and made sure that every burnt bit was covered before sitting back on my heels. My hands were frozen and my arms ached.

'There you go,' I said, standing up with difficulty, due to my unwillingness to put my gooey hands on the floor.

'Thanks Rae,' he murmured.

I nodded.

'No problem. I'm just going to the bathroom to wash this stuff off,' I called, walking to the bathroom door.

'Wait,' he said, opening his eyes and lifting his head up.

'Yeah?'

He paused, opening his mouth then closing it once before saying, 'How long do I have to sit like this?'

I thought about it.

'Probably about an hour,' I said. 'After that, I can try some spells.'

He nodded and shut his eyes again.

I went into the bathroom and washed my hands, then splashed water in my face. I leaned heavily on the edge of the basin and looked at my reflection. My heart was thudding and my cheeks were flushed. What was this? I tried to think clearly, but all I could think about was the feel of his smooth skin under my hands. I closed my eyes and hung my head down. A bubbling excitement had filled my chest and my throat was tight.

'What are you doing?' I asked my reflection. Her glassy greenish eyes gave away nothing. 'He's ... Ori. You love Draco, not him.'

I shook my head and wiped my face dry on a towel, flicking the water off my hands as I tried to make my face impassive before going back into the room. When I did, Ori was looking right at me. I smiled and sat down beside him, drawing my knees up to my chest and folding my arms atop them.

'Penny for your thoughts,' I smiled, looking at his profile.

'Ah, you wouldn't want to hear,' he smiled, glancing at me.

'I would too.'

'I'm just thinking about ... a girl.'

'You are a bloke, after all,' I grinned. Part of me was jealous and part of me prayed that this girl was me.

'There is that, yeah,' he said. 'She's special, though.'

'Do I know her?' I asked, trying to sound like I didn't really care. I knew I would be really upset if it was someone else - which it most likely was. However, there was a one in a million possibility that it was me, and one in a million is still a chance, right?

'Depends. She's the sort who never seems to be the same. She barely seems to know herself, let alone allow others to catch up to her.' He gave a hollow laugh.

Well, that could be me. I had always known that I was confusing... But maybe I was deliberately twisting his words.

'Have I met her?' I asked.

He thought about it. 'Yes. Why do you want to know this anyway?'

'I just do,' I blushed.

He smiled knowingly.

'Stop that!' I cried, poking his arm. He laughed.

'Next question?' he said.

I laughed and thought about it.

'Is she pretty?'

'She's beautiful,' he smiled, a sense of awe in his tone.

'What does she look like?' Come on, come on.

'That would be telling,' he smirked.

'You bastard! Come on, tell me!'

'No.'

'Fine.' Getting closer... That told me that it was somebody I knew, at least. All of us could be described as changeable. So it was Persephone, Skye, Raven, that new girl, or - dare I say it - me. 'What's so special about her?'

'She's real.'

'What do you mean?'

'She's not fake. Nothing fake. Everything about her is real.' He laughed. 'Not like Raven and her fake nails.'

Slash one Raven. Skye, Perse, Neit or me.

'How long have you known her?'

'It feels like longer than it is. Quite a while.'

Not Neit. Well, unless they'd met before...

'Where did you meet?' I asked. This was so painful. I just wanted to dive at him and kiss him. I wanted to taste his lips and make him say that it was me.

'Russia,' he answered.

That left me, Perse and Skye. Darn, that wasn't too helpful. I felt like a kid again, trying to get my crush to admit that he liked me, then he'd said that he liked someone else. I hoped this wasn't going to be that way. How would I feel? What did I feel? My chest was still bubbling and my throat grew tighter and tighter as the sharp tangy scent of his body filled my nostrils. I breathed deeply, trying to get more of it.

'Everything alright?' he asked, frowning at me.

'Sure, sorry,' I laughed, blushing. 'I know how you feel,' I added.

'Bout what?'

'About being in love with someone who'll never know,' I said hesitantly.

'Malfoy?' he assumed wearily.

'Not this time,' I answered, glad to know something he didn't.

'Someone else?'

'Well, yeah.'

He grinned at me and I knew what was coming.

'Do I know him? Unless it's a her, of course. In which case, can I help you guys out and join in?' he grinned.

'You dirty old man,' I accused. 'No, it's a he, and yes. You know him.'

'You don't got the hots for Captain Cardboard Cloud, do you?' he asked incredulously.

'No way!' Oh Gods, why didn't I do that? Why didn't I just go through everyone?

'Hmm...' he hummed thoughtfully. 'Not Draco. In that case, I'm all out of ideas.'

'Don't talk bollocks,' I said scornfully. 'You know full bloody well who it is.'

'Maybe I do,' he shrugged. 'Maybe I don't.' He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his hand, looking up at me. 'Maybe you could tell me. Confirm it.'

I blushed and laughed.

'Come on,' he coaxed. 'Don't you trust me?'

I thought about that.

'I do, actually. I think I trust you the most.'

'Your secret's safe with me,' he promised, looking at me like a little puppy-dog, blue-brown eyes wide.

'Yeah, but that's not the point. It's a secret.' So secret that I only just found out myself.

'If you tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine,' he wheedled. That was an offer I couldn't refuse.

'You go first.'

'That's not fair. Ladies first.'

'I'm not a lady,' I evaded.

He shrugged and leaned in really close to me. I could feel his breath against the side of my neck as he put a hand on the floor to support himself. I trembled with excitement and held my breath, waiting for the worst.

'Wonder why I put up with the sun all day?' he whispered. Goosebumps trailed down my spine. 'So I could be with you.'

I blinked and swallowed, my throat shooting up and my heart in my mouth.

'Because I love you, Rae. I don't know why, but I know it's real. It isn't a part of this prophecy, because I know what that feels like...' He was speaking fast, urgently. 'You made me feel alive even when I wasn't, and you put everything into making me alive again. You know when we met, in Russia. I never did anything. I didn't do anything. I wanted to piss Malfoy off. He can't contact you when you're asleep, so he only knew as much as you did. Nothing happened, I swear. I didn't lay a finger on you.'

His breath was warm and tingling against my neck, stirring the tiny hairs. I closed my eyes and shivered in this new, relieving knowledge.

I turned and reached out to him, touching his messy chestnut hair.

'I wouldn't have minded anyway,' I murmured, eyes searching his face.

He blinked.

'You...?'

I shook my head.

'It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.'

'I'm sorry that I had to ... Well, I understand if you really didn't want to know this, but...'

'Oh, you bloody great dickhead,' I laughed softly. 'I love you.'

'You fucking what? ... Sorry.' He just sat there grinning at me. His eyes were alight and shining and his teeth were a white flash in the semi-dark of the room. I grinned harder and flung my arms around his neck, slamming my lips up against his. He squeaked slightly and I pulled away, worried that I'd hurt him, but he dragged me back again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap, his hands tracing circles over my skin, my shirt having somehow ridden up in the course of events. I slid one hand up the back of his neck and twisted it into his hair. His lips tasted of the bitter tang of that cream, a distant tracing of salt and cinnamon. Yes, cinnamon, that was it. The smell and taste from baking cakes, only more dangerous and exciting.

I wondered briefly if I was making a mistake, if this was what I really wanted, but I dispelled the thoughts immediately. Ori had saved my life, and I had given him his. He had lost everything, and I would soon. He was funny, clever, gorgeous and dark. And I really did like him.

For the first time in over a year, the picture of Draco printed to the back of my eyelids shivered and grew distant, hard to recall. Instead, a picture of Ori's face, grinning and happy with his hair hanging over his eyes, flickered and stayed. I had a new obsession, and it was one that was returned, not with ambition, but with love.

~*~