Dear Drarry

Dear Drarry,
Tomorrow's our big school dance. As luck would have it, I have a pimple on my nose! What do I do to get rid of it? I'm really desperate!
Sincerely,
Sad Spot

"Oh I'm answering this one, it's definitely my field. Who could deny it, the perfection that is my flawless skin and radiant face, I'm sure to have the answer--oh wait. Let me rephrase that. I used to have the answer to that, seeing as a very intelligent person decided--"

"If you're still mad about earlier, I already apologized, Draco. How was I to know that your facial cleanser was in that bottle? I really thought it was Hedwig's bath water!"

"For your information, that cleanser contained more minerals than you can find in the depths of Gringotts and it's probably as expensive. Mother would have a hissy-fit if she knew I emptied out her last bottle!"

"--You use your mother's cosmetics?"

"It's not--don't call it--I'd rather--"

"Draco Lucius Malfoy-Potter uses women's cosmetics? Merlin."

"They're not women's cosmetics! And what did I tell you about me using your last name?"

"You told me not to say it in public but that's not the point now. I still can't believe--"

"I told you they're not women's cosmetics! By Salazar Slytherin, I swear, you'll be the death of me, Potter. Now let's stop talking about it and continue with answering Mrs. Longbottom here--"

"Well I still think that it looked like it was supposed to be bathed in by owls."

"..."

"Okay, I'm stopping. Shutting up. Not talking. Zipping my mouth. Throwing away the key. Go on, Draco."

"...Thank you. Now, as I was supposed to say before I was so rudely interrupted by my mute witless wonder here, always use facial cleanser. Prevention really is better than cure and I'm sure you wouldn't fancy having blemishes pop out at the most inopportune moments."

"By the way, why'd you refer to her as Mrs. Longbottom?"

"I thought you weren't speaking. Sad, I was getting used to the intelligence that was restoring in our area that was brought about by your silence. Anyway, to answer your question, I'm sure it's fairly obvious that our reader shares some of his genes. Proof of which is the horrible blemish in between Neville Longbottom's ears--his face--so I'm positively certain they're related."

"Malfoy, I told you never to insult my friends. Just because we're together doesn't mean--"

"Well, Potter, it's not much of an insult if it's the absolute truth. And I'm sure Mrs. Longbottom here would agree with my pursuit of honesty with regards to her question."

"Fine! Go on then! Give her some practical advice if you really can."

" I was just doing that when you, for the zillionth time, interrupted me. Now aside from facial cleansers, you can use Lady Linda's Blemish Be-Gone, a wonderful cream that can be ordered at any wizarding beauty bar near you--"

"She's a muggle, Draco."

"A muggle? Ugh, I forgot we were taking those in. Ghastly sort of spot that is, I'm sure. However, my knowledge does extend to some muggle products that may be worth trying. I'm confident that there are muggle versions of Lady Linda's product but I have no idea what they are. In fact, even I don't use her blemish cream! My Pureblood skin is far too perfect and spot-free that it--"

"Hold on, are you sure?"

"--What?"

"I meant, what you just said, are you sure? Because I distinctly recall you having this huge zit right there at the middle of your forehead--"

"What--of course not--I did not have--"

"--enormous as Snape's nose and twice as oily as that too! Merlin, how--"

"Potter, you dare--"

"--could I forget your screeching and whining, 'Harry! Harry! My face! My--"

"Shut up Potter! Don't--"

"--horribly disfigured face! Gods Draco, your whining was ear-splitting, it was. Are you sure you don't remember it? I think it was visible all the way up on the moon--"

"Blemissimo Bodigo!"

"..."

"There. You should've listened to me when I told you to take up Advanced Transfiguration. Now let's see you try to talk when you're nothing but a disgusting little wart."

"..."

"Hmm. I wonder if I could trade you in for a new bottle of that cleanser."