Hogwarts Gone Mad

"But... but..." Draco stammered.

Hermione wrapped her arms around Uncle Voldie, who immediately pushed her off and put his arms around Draco. Hermione's face bore a similar expression to the one Draco was wearing a few minutes ago (or last chapter).

"But Voldie, I thought you loved me!" she squealed.

"I did, but I am in love with Draco now."

"Malfoy!" she screeched, "How can you love him! I'll get even, just you wait and see!"

And with that, she stormed off to create an evil plot (I know this story is full of plots. Oh well).

Voldie just shrugged and dragged Draco off to talk to Professor Snape, who was talking to Harry in detention.

~o0O0o~

Let's go slightly ahead of them, and re-join Snape and Harry in detention. Snape was about to tell Harry something, just to refresh your memory.

"Harry, I know I have shown a fondness towards you more than any other student," he began, "and there is a reason why."

"What, Professor Snape?" Harry asked curiously.

"Harry, I am you father."

Woah! Rewind!

Hang on a second, readers. This story shouldn't have a commentator.

I'm not a commentator. I'm a bodiless voice. I make up the details of the story that you don't write, and I can make things happen. Watch!

*Story rewinds to about a minute ago*

"Harry, I know I have shown a fondness towards you more than any other student," he began, "and there is a reason why."

"What, Professor Snape?" Harry asked curiously.

"Harry, I am you father."

Okay, okay, can we get on now?

Certainly.

"WHAT! You aren't my dad! This isn't Star Wars! My dad is James Potter!"

"No, I am your father."

At this moment Uncle Voldie walks through the door.

"And I am your mother," he says.

"WHAT!" Harry said, for the second time that day.

"You were the result of a science experiment to let gay people have children. We gave you to the Potters because the Ministry thought you were being abused," said Snape calmly.

"Why was I being abused?" Harry asked.

"Well, me and your dad wanted to put you in a pink dress and parade you around as a she-male. Honestly, what's so wrong with that?" said Voldie.

"I don't know, honey," Snape said, "but the ministry said he'd be scarred for life."

I'm glad they gave me to Lily and James, thought Harry.

"Give your mummy a hug!" said Voldie suddenly, walking over to hug Harry. As he moves, Draco becomes visible from behind his back.

"What do you want, oh Ballet-dancing Draco?" Harry asked.

"Er, I..."

Draco never finished his sentence. Uncle Voldie walked over.

"He's my new sweetheart!" Uncle Voldie proclaimed happily.

Harry snorted with laughter (literally), but was stopped when Uncle Voldie smothered him with kisses and hugs, saying how much he had missed his/her son. Now it was Draco's turn to laugh.

~o0O0o~

Up in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory, Hermione is creating the promised plot. Cheerleaders around her, she adds the final touches.

"I think it's finished," she said proudly.

They all peered at the piece of traditional blueprint paper with the white drawings on that you always see in films. It was Hermione's plan to get back at Voldie, otherwise known as project revenge.

The plan was to take place at the Yule Ball. Hermione was going to enchant Voldie to make him do something so embarrassing that he'd never show his face in public again. And, as a bonus, they'd probably get rid of Snape too.